THE GREAT PAPYRUS (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
coolskeleton_95) wrote2015-12-31 10:43 pm
coolskeleton_95) wrote2015-12-31 10:43 pm
Video/Action for New Bark Town
Greetings, humans! I’m quite impressed that you have such small devices capable of connecting to the internet! Why, it's even smaller than the smallest cell phones! The portability is simply amazing!
That being said…perhaps one of you could help me find the answer to a very important question! [Papyrus’ face fills the screen.] WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY GLORIOUS FACE?! [Oddly enough, it seems to be a normal human face…albeit a bit close to the screen.]
IT…IT’S COMPLETELY COVERED IN…FLESH! SKIN! OTHER POSSIBLE HUMAN ORGANS! HOW CAN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, POSSIBLY BE ANY SORT OF MASCOT FOR MONSTERKIND WITH A FACE NOT BEFITTING OF MY TRUE SELF? That's not all! My entire body is now completely encased in this fleshy prison! Why, there's not a single bone in sight! I've not built my calcium levels to near perfection to have it all end like this!
Ah, that is not to say that I do not value humans! Not at all! Why, one of my very best friends in the entire world is human! I'm certain I make a very handsome human! However, I know that I make a much more handsome skeleton! THEREFORE! I require someone to tell me how I am to go about reversing whatever magic has made me this way at once!
Now, onto the second order of business! [Papyrus shifts the camera’s focus to a Litleo sitting patiently at his feet.] This young monster has been following me all day! They're clearly in awe of my greatness! Of course, I do tend to have that affect on others, but, they're refusing to give me their name, and their parents are surely worrying! What kind of awesome role model would the Great Papyrus be if he encouraged truancy on such a level as this? Perhaps one of you humans has seen their mother? Please, do not hesitate to inform me! I will escort them home myself! It is the least I can do for such a devoted fan!
That being said…perhaps one of you could help me find the answer to a very important question! [Papyrus’ face fills the screen.] WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY GLORIOUS FACE?! [Oddly enough, it seems to be a normal human face…albeit a bit close to the screen.]
IT…IT’S COMPLETELY COVERED IN…FLESH! SKIN! OTHER POSSIBLE HUMAN ORGANS! HOW CAN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, POSSIBLY BE ANY SORT OF MASCOT FOR MONSTERKIND WITH A FACE NOT BEFITTING OF MY TRUE SELF? That's not all! My entire body is now completely encased in this fleshy prison! Why, there's not a single bone in sight! I've not built my calcium levels to near perfection to have it all end like this!
Ah, that is not to say that I do not value humans! Not at all! Why, one of my very best friends in the entire world is human! I'm certain I make a very handsome human! However, I know that I make a much more handsome skeleton! THEREFORE! I require someone to tell me how I am to go about reversing whatever magic has made me this way at once!
Now, onto the second order of business! [Papyrus shifts the camera’s focus to a Litleo sitting patiently at his feet.] This young monster has been following me all day! They're clearly in awe of my greatness! Of course, I do tend to have that affect on others, but, they're refusing to give me their name, and their parents are surely worrying! What kind of awesome role model would the Great Papyrus be if he encouraged truancy on such a level as this? Perhaps one of you humans has seen their mother? Please, do not hesitate to inform me! I will escort them home myself! It is the least I can do for such a devoted fan!
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...No, really. Even if this place made me suitably beautiful, humans are so impractical. So fragile! So breakable.
[...Thanks for the input, Mettaton, we all needed that.]
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Er- that is...once I figure out where it's come from.
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It seems no one else here knows, either. Some of them claim to have been here for years? So that's not good.
But! It's not like it's anything that I can't handle. I've pursued my dreams through more unfortunate circumstances than this; I'm not going to let this hold me back any.
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Nyeh heh! I would expect nothing less from Mettaton! Tell me, do you intend to get into television in this world too?
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[...]
Of course, I'm told their tastes are a little more...subdued. So that's a bit of a shame.
[no really
how do you entertain without any murder?? where's the dramatic tension if it's all acting?
...humans are weird af papyrus holy shit]
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So you were watching that, were you? Not that I'm surprised! My ratings have never been so high...
But what can I say? Only the best for you and my other loyal viewers.
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O-Of course, my favorite program will still always be "Quiz Time with Mettaton!" In order to be the perfect Royal Guardsman, it's important that I train my mind as well as my body! I have a notebook filled with all the questions and my answers to them!
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[...Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.]
Oh, was that human a friend of yours?
[Huh.]
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...I suppose that's why it was so hard to cheer...I wanted both of you to win!
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A date - how cute. Unless it actually went somewhere? In which case, congratulations on your taste being so varied.
[I mean, he wouldn't date the human but holy hell did that human flirt with everything or what.]
They're stronger than I gave them credit for, at least. If I had to suffer defeat at the hands of anyone, at least it was to someone I fully believe can defeat Asgore as well.
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Mmm, not exactly...I did everything the guide book said, but in the end, I just couldn't reciprocate their intense feelings for me! We decided to remain good friends, instead!
[For real. I had no idea Moldsmal could actually blush until recently.]
Er? But didn't they? Well, maybe it was his feminine clone...
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...
You know what, clearly everyone's doing their job in ensuring that the Underground remains just a bit surreal. Good hustle, everyone.
That said, about the Asgore business...]
Well, I suppose they...might have? Perhaps I was unconscious longer than I thought - my, that is a shame, isn't it! Hopefully they learned enough from me to make it a proper show.
[METTATON FOR GOD'S SAKE.]
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Whenever I think about it, I get this awful feeling!
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[And from the sound of it, he really, really doesn't see, but he's not going to question it too much.]
Well, it's not like it's a problem now, is it, darling? We can spend our time in the brightest spotlight of all for the time being - we've got more sunlight and open space here than we know what to do with.
The only flowers we have to worry about here are the ones strewn at our feet once we've made this place our own.
[because if you think he's not going to be rebuilding his empire here i don't know what to tell you]
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This guide book I was given mentions gym challenges...and more importantly, PUZZLES!
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[Oh no.]
Dare I ask what's caught your interest there?
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Well, well - it sounds like your work is cut out for you then, doesn't it? Best of luck to you, sweetheart.
1/2
2/2
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[...his ego, um.]
But really. Do try to keep in touch with me, darling - seeing as we are the only two representatives of the Underground here, I'm guessing that would probably be a good idea.
...And try not to freeze, because that'll suck. Almost as much as having skin in the first place.
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!!! I mean! Of course! I'll be sure to keep in touch! Nyeh-heh-heh! There's no need to worry about me! I'm quite used to the cold, having grown up in Snowdin, after all!
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[...That was clumsily-worded but you know what, sure.]
Have fun on your journey, darling, and do be sure to give me any breaking updates. Toodles~
[...and that is apparently all, end feed, etc.]